Wednesday, 22 October 2008

20 Fresher’s No-Nos, in no particular order

Some general rules from Fresher’s Fortnight at Bournemouth University.

Disclaimer: I do not claim to have any personal experience of the following

DO NOT:

Go ANYWHERE until you discover when the cheapest buses are and where from.

Abandon your flatmates.

Buy little food regularly. Buy enough for a week and MAKE IT LAST.

Try living off tuna.

Pull people because you can/you’re ‘supposed to’ in Fresher’s week.

Buy/eat things as a reward for something/to cheer yourself up.

Take out more cash than you need.

Let the IT people get away with not helping you!

Lose your virginity in a fit of passion perhaps disguising excitement at your new-found freedom.

Become the person everyone wants to get drunk (it basically means you make them feel better about themselves because you’re a dick).

Start smoking.

Give in to any form of peer pressure.

Presume you understand your timetable.

Ignore your fresher’s flu. Fix it! Benylin saves social lives.

Get a double unless someone else is buying.

Go out late with no coat/jumper. Sure, it’s warmer than home, but it’s still Autumn. And it rains.

Settle for the closest food store. Find the cheapest!

Snack while waiting for your pasta/rice to cook. You will eat EVERYTHING.

Let your appetite balloon due to middle-of-the-day boredom.

Drink so much that you feel immune to alcohol until you reach a particular cut-off point when you suddenly realise you’re about to puke.

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